Archive for the ‘Daily life’ Category

June- Dec 2012 at a Glance…

So a lot happened this year – 2012

I did get married but shortly after that (less then a month) I made Walter leave. I thought that I had to settle for him mainly because of his 3 girls, but i realized that that is not the reason to marry or settle. Also he will never change – No makeup, cant leave the house, he wont get a job and is still fucking with his ex’s!

I met Dawn a month or so before I was married and after I broke it off with Walter we got close – I never cheated on Walter with her nor did I think that I would end up dating her but things happened and we had a connection. We “un-officially” started dating  because of our jobs and her living situations which meant many VERY LONG nights on skype and on the computer.

Eventually she was kicked out of Anna’s (my friends where she was living) and moved in here. She helped me thru a lot  including dealing with Anna’s Medical problems, as at the time Anna was my only friend.

We secretly dated the rest of the year & only My kids and very close co-workers knew we were dating. …

Here are some 2012 Pictures and I will get on to 2013 :)


dd ddf ddfdfdf




Still here!

Hi there, I know i havent written alot latley but lets just say dec-feb were not good months for me at all (family and friend situations).

I am at 328.2 lbs right now, feeling very good about myslef but It has been kind of a slow prosses in the past few months, its still comming off but been a little slower. Everyone hits a platue and I think that was mine! Stress can also cause a big issue, not only with eating right but exercise as well.

My mom is doing good…I wish I could see her more but work is so outta wack right now, and if it’s not one thing it is another! She misses Gary sooooo much, as do we all but it has been very hard on her.

MK gave me her company on Feb 22nd and its been a non stop thing doing everything to get things merged together, having to up my toll limits and websites and everything that goes with it. I been doing better monry wise but it seems that as soon as I have some money-something goes wrong. I put out over $650 on my car about 2 weeks ago and its not working AGAIN!  Dryer quit on me last sunday and my kitchen sprung a leak & is gonna cost me about 8 foot of pergo flooring and cabnits! :(   Good news is I have all the lattuce up around porches and it is looking better.

I have had lots of vavoom, but have to kick myself in the ass to get out from in from of pc working to do it! I stopped all my meds last week cus i was too dizzy, not sure wich or wich combanation was doing it, but the dizzyness has stopped. I think I will start the mood stabelizers again, but not all the anti-depressents.

My 2nd cortizone shot in my knee did not work and they want to do a knee replacment :( the front of my ankle/top of foot has been hurting too…but still no back pain, I guess over 115 lbs off it helps!

Well I promise to write more, and update pics!


Walking Again!

Started Walking again Today! Cheyenne, Sierra, Tyler and Me all walked around the Yard 3 times (almost 4 acres). Now by MY calculations its a bit over a mile 3 times around, but my petometer says it was .98 – close enough for me! Anyway I dunno if i want the kids walking with me anymore as Cheyenne kept laughing & carrying on, Sierra was tooting the whole time, puppy kept trying to trip me… actually Tyler was the best one!

I think I will take One kids each time I go around next time, maybe that will go over better & give them each a while to talk to me by themselves. I only found one golf ball today & no turtles!

Anyway Here are the stats for today:

  • 24 Minutes
  • .98 Miles 
  • 2150 Steps – (dunno if the pedometer is correct)
  • (Edit – Pedometer is NOT correct for steps)

Total of 24 inches lost! Over 60 lbs lost!

Waist Size in
62  down to  59 1/2  =  2   1/2 in loss

Neck Size
18   down to  16 1/2 = 1   1/2 in loss
Bicep Size
22.5  down to  19 = 3  1/2 in loss
Forearm Size
14  down to  12 = 2 in loss
Chest Size
64  down to  60 1/2 = 3   1/2 in loss
Hip Size (this is where most of tummy is)
70  down to   66 = 4 in loss

Thigh Size
36  down to   31.5 =  4 1/2 in loss
Calf Size
21  down to  18 1/2 = 2  1/2 in
Lost total of 24 inches

Why Did I choose this route for myself?

~19/20 Years Old~

Well that has got to be the most asked question, and its easy for me to answer… My heath and my Kids, but then comes the “why THIS surgery, why cant you just diet and exercise”. This is a little harder to answer, and The reason if different I think every-time I am asked.

I have always remembered myself  “chunky” although mom says I was a small kid I have been pictures and still thought I was chubby… I guess the hard parts started in Middle School, friends were thinning out unlike my weight which was pretty high, I was say 175-200lbs by high school days. I worked all my life, and despite always being busy with work and school I was a sit at home person when I could get time to myself. I remember a picture taken at a dance with 2 other girls my freshman year, I looked “OKAY” but was of course “the fat one” and it was always that way. Always been over a 14 pants and always shopping at Cato’s or Fashion Bug Plus.

My parents owned a store and i ended up eating out allot from there, mom loved to cook but was busy all the time, my bother and I ate whatever… He is a large guy too!

23/24 years Old

23/24 years Old

Even in Middle school my grandmother put me on Nutri-system diet and was up and down, only gaining the weight back once i was taken off there ridiculously HIGH priced menu (at that time you went and bought There food from there offices).

By the time I was 18  I was about 220- and got pregnant gaining

over 50lbs, I lost SOME of it but not much. I went thru a hard time right after she was born that lead to me loosing about 40lbs, so back to 220ish. Then I got on Fen-Phen and lost a little, then that was pulled off the market..Then Pregnant Again, this time putting on 60 lbs and not loosing it all. at 25 I was about 300 and i remember telling myself “if i hit 320 i will die. I was then working from home and sitting on my ass in front of a computer 16 plus hours a day trying to make money to support me and my 2 girls. Then came 340 and another baby. By 30 i was 360lbs and starting with back problems, and fell down stairs that landed me on a kitty and with torn ACL in my knee.  I started going to Curves which did help a little until I really hurt my back  and This is what Plummeted my weight to its now almost 425lbs at 33 years old.

I don’t accredit my obesity to my eating as much as my Lack of physical activities. I do eat late at night, but am not a junk food eater, and I don’t eat out allot. I would have to say that when i DID eat a snack it was usually healthier then what most eat for snacks. I don’t care for chocolate, ice cream, chips or anything like that. My bad food habits are more carb related loving pastas and breads. Other problem is I Don’t like salads!

So when they ask Why this..I can Honestly say i have tried to explain this to people but have since shortened my anser to ” Because I KNOW its the right thing for ME”

Now My blogs are on my Twitter!

hehe, I am smarter then the avearge blue Bird…haha, Now when I blog, my blog entry tites will go straight to my Twitter account! So those of you who use Twitter and wanna know whats going on or when I post a new blog, Follow me! HAHA!

Off to the last apt before surgery! (lost 10 lbs)

So… I left for Shands with my mom at about 6:45am, after a very wrestless night. I was really worried about what was gonna happen and whether my partial liquid diet had helped me loose any weight.

I get to Shands right on time. And there are a few other larger people in the lobby. Right away after only about 10 minutes I get called back and stand looking at the scale in front of me and its like the scariest feeling I have felt in a long time, my heart and tummy has switched places and all i could think of was “did I poop this morning” ..I know bad right… Well i step on, and the numbers go up VERY fast. OMG are they gonna stop??? Yes, 415 YES!!! I lost 10 lbs thank god! Amelia also gave me some soap to wash with the day before & day of the surgery.

The surgery WILL be on the 27th, the paper that I had gotten for the 28th was the thingy they do the day after the sug=rgery to make sure there are no leaks. I have to call this phone number the night before the surgery to find out what time I have to go in, so we are staying the night in Gainsville at a hotel as I am so nervous about something happening to me before surgery!

Next I went to a seminar room with 4 or 5 other people, all smaller then me, one was a guy who didn’t even look like he needed the surgery to me. We sat thru a nutritionist who just kept saying the same things, NUTRITUION, get your PROTEIN and Take your pills… Okay, thats over with… on to next stop…

Anaesthesiologist (or however you spell that) Lots of questions here, but it was easy, Im not allergic to anything and I am pretty healty besides being fat! On to the next person who just checked a bunch of boxes on my paperwork and sent me downstairs. X-rays of my chest, at least I did not have to drink the Barium swallow this time. I prolly would have not been able to keep it down after not eating anything. One more person. BLOOD work, Lots of tubes of blood and a cup to piss in. Fuck why dident that tell me I was gonna have to pee in a damn cup! I just used the potty before coming to this office…UGGGG…I know I sat there for 10 minutes on the toilet. I even managed to drop the cup in the toilet..Not good. Okay managed to squeeze a few drops. ALL DONE!

I wanted food! Well Grits (wich have become my bestest friend) But mom wanted to go to Shoneys, and I ended up with potato soup, not to bad, just ALOT of chunks of crap with I wasn’t allowed to eat. Okay I wont lie – it was horrible, but i did manage to get full and I had a few bites of cheese grits. I don’t really care for them, but its better then nothing!

Home finally at about 2pm, A lot better then I thought! Nap time…and grits time! lol

Just some Pictures of the new pups!

Pics of Pups, they are getting really big, had to move them outside, walt made an 8 foot by 8 foot enclosure thing for them, although some play hudini sometimes! They are eating hard food and will be ready to go on the 14th! Hope we can find good homes for all of them but ZueSasha! (hehe)

Me and Walty dyed our hair lol, his dident turn out as perty as mine! He did however pick the color! Go Walty!

Piggy Roast!

The pig roast wasent the only thing toasty last night, but damn it I deserve it! lol… We had about 15ish people, a few teenagers and lots of kids, i did manage to snap a pic of some of the little ones in the pool.  I baked mac & cheese, baked beans with brown sugar and develed eggs and mom2 brought over some cupcakes and chili. Everything was yummy but piggy wasent quite finish, George said he has to take walty back to pig cooking school :)

I dident eat much at all, maybe 4 or 5 bites thru the night, but I did throw back a beer and quite a few buttery nipples! LOL, I was feeling VERY good! glad I did that cus I havent gotten toasty in a long time! This will also be that last in a long time, as surgey is VERY close! 17 more days! Well just wanted to let everyone know how it went.  Oh and we got rid of waltys kids for almost a month, so me and him are BY OURSELVES! YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!


Fucking Pissed!

Okay so I am REALLY pissed off, I really need to weigh myself and I cant find ANYONE or any PLACE with a scale that weighs above 350… Curves, Hospital, Doctors, CVS, Walmart or even Sam’s Club. I am a little pissed cus the Hospital woman was rude saying maybe they can put you on the loading docks out back… this is the first time I have cried over my weight in a very long time!

 It’s usually me that makes the jokes, but this time it really hurt especially since she had a tone to her voice like she was making fun of the whole thing. I guess i will find out next Thursday at my Shands appointment if I lost anything. 

Talk to you latter when I am not very upset!

My diet.

Okay so i started making a log, you can view it HERE , with all i ate, slept and notes of how I felt, I do not have to do an all liquid diet until the 14th, but I am trying to get my body use to it.  So far so good, just been very tired but I am sure that is a lack of Carbs and Caffeine. I have almost cut out tea completely and found these carnation smoothies very good & filling in the morning. 

I am glad I can have grits and oatmeal too, gives me something a little solid. I put I cant beleave its not butter and brown sugar splenda in them…Yum! Lots of people hate grits…but ever since a few years back when I worked at Huddle House in Georgia and learned to make then right, I love them.

 I may try a creamed soup today… like cream of potato or mushroom.  What sucks is that fact I really don’t like sherbet and Popsicle’s, cause I am allowed all those I want. Oh well I will be eating allot of grits lol… well at least I am able to do this, and my body isn’t like completely shutting down.

Started drinking coffee again (with splenda) so maybe that will help with caffeine.  I use to drink it all the time, but with shitloads of sugar, I HATE splenda in tea but in coffee it is okay, at lease wakes me up a little.



Okay so this is like the best smoothie I think I have ever had & simple as hell & used the protein shake i HAVE TO have!

  • 1 Packet Carnation Intant Breakfast (found neat oatmeal in the store)
  • 3/4 Cup Milk
  • 3/4-1 cup frozen Strwberries
  • Blend for about 45 sec untill its smooth

***I bought a single serve blender at walmart for like $15.00 – It works GREAT and I love that the “blender” is a cup!

YUMMY! – sorry had to share!

Shands Apointment!

Okay, me and mom went to Shands today, had to be there by 9AM. We were about 30 min early wich is good because we went to the wrong building which turned out to be the right building… long story but while sitting in the general surgery office where I checked in & has been before, they took forEVER to call us. It was almost 10 and finally I hear my name and Ms Redick says I should have been in the other building for a short seminar …”that WAS where I was and they sent me HERE!” I told her. She said it’s fine… and told me to come back, there I got weighed (holding breath) okay not to bad. I haven’t changed anything really, just started cutting down on tea and this week is “that time of month” so as the scale read off 425 I was relieved, I picked up 1/2 pound, that’s cool cus I know I have been retaining water, and drinking like 2 gallons of it a day! She told me that my liquid diet should help me to loose the 20 lbs they WANT me to loose before surgery.

Anyways, she said “okay your done, see you on the 15th” I was like WTF….I came ALL THE WAY here to get weighed? She said Yup and walked away…OMG well at least mom We came home and I read my packet of papers. I was relieved to see Oatmeal and Grits as “allowed” food on the liquid diet. I don’t know how, as there not really liqiuds but I am NOT complaining, I like em both!

Enough today, very tired and need a good long nap!


I am SOOO excited, I got a call from Shands today and my surgery has been moved up! I am scheduled NOW for JULY 27th!! That is me and Walter’s One year anniversary! I think that’s pretty cool!

Now I am getting excited cus that’s like a bit over a month, I have an appointment next wen for my weigh in at Shands and my anesthesiology / pre-op apt is for July 15th.  I think she said that I would have to start my liquid diet on the 30th to, but I’m not sure, cus that would be a month of liquid diet!

I have been waiting for so long for this and am really excited about getting healthy and loosing the weight! Everyone has been a great support, Walt, mom, mini and even Michelle who has had a bad experience with the procedure, shes been telling me lots of diff things to be ready for!

OTHER Updates:

  • Puppies are getting HUGE
  • Kids are in MD safe and sound
  • Cheyenne passed 6th grade by the skin of her teeth
  • I have been drinking more water and less tea!
  • I am into my 4th month of being SMOKE FREE!


Yeah, Kayla finally had her puppies, the first one she had was while walking up the stairs, I dont think she realized waht was going on.  She got on the bed and had…
So we thought okay maybe she is done, not wuite, an hour later we had…
Now is she done? Well for about 2 hours, then…
Geesh wow that is ALOT, so we took her and the pups off my bed thinking she was finally done, and put her and the pups in my garden tub. She was content and was feeding, so I can in here to the pc and checked on her 2 hours later…I counted puppies,,,, 1 -2 -3 -4 -5 -6 -7 -8 -9 -10-11! OMG, 2 more, is this EVER gonna stop??

FINALLY done….11 pups and about 6 hours later!